i just unintentionally masturbated to my own facebook picture
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Of course I'm hard in the pics. If there's a chance that these pictures will cause a scandal later in my life I at least want my dick to look it's biggest
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
I'll send you the picture of you double fisting vodka bottles, grinding one guy and making out with another... Every girl wanted to be you.. You make me so proud!
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
I just got to my parents hungover as hell. My dad could tell and said "theres only one cure for a hangover" and handed me a beer. This morning went from a 0 to 10 in an instant.
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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