your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I just want to make out with him forever
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
I just woke up to my family in the living room watching our security camera tape of me last night talking to a stop sign in our backyard... How the fuck did I get that in the yard?
I am now gainfully employed. Parents, lock up your children.
Yay! Welcome to the world of "you're seriously trusting me with your kid?"
Randomize
