i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Randomize
