It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
I'm driving in the middle of nowhere, and I just saw a stuffed Barney hanging from a noose on a tree. Maybe I should turn around.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
But on the plus side, what he lacked in size he made up for with speed. And grunting.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
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