How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
He keeps bees of course he's weird
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I really appreciate you taking the time to blur out my excessive boob cleavage for instagram
Date with Air Force guy was nice btw. And for my next trick I'll talk him into fucking me in his fighter jet at 30,000 ft.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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