She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
