lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
just walked by a lingerie store, the sign out front, "Specials for Father's Day", in no way is that just not wrong.
remind me again why lemons and alcohol in the crock pot is a bad idea?
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
What I've learned from glowsticks: glowing things are not safe to eat
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
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