The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
There's a burrito next to my bed. Did you buy it for me or is the Chipotle fairy real? And why am I naked?
You chose shitty college football over this pussy and my cute little mouth. That's your fault.
When I came she triumphantly exclaimed, "MUAHAHA VICTORY IS MINE!"
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
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