Lady next to me is getting american flags airburshed on her nails. god bless the ghetto.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I wish I could go about my daily activities with his dick inside me
i get of class at 4. it takes me 17 minutes to walk home and 3 to load a bowl. thank you, priority registration.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
Just woke up and my doorbell is on my nightstand... the fuck?
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Someone came in the potted fern
He's the only guy without a tacky accent I've seen in this southern dump in 6 months. Bangage was inevitable.
You're such a Yankee.
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
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