He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
So I just accidentally joined a bar crawl and got a free shotski of Jameson. I love life.
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