Came home to a chalk baord that read:" Think like a rapist." Can't say I'm surpirsed.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
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