he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
Waaait I'm alsleep in myt car somewhere
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
I've decided that my new worst fear is that I'll end up on "I Didn't Know I was Pregnant"
Finals week has gone away, doo dah doo dah, drink martinis naked day oh da doo dah day
there's sperm and chicken noodle soup everywhere
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Randomize
