reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
holy fuck that shirt looks so good on him, it was like he was born with it on. that shirt deserves a blow
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
She's been with the dude for a week saying she's in love. Yeah so am I. I just opened this beer 5 minutes ago and I LOVE IT ALREADY.
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
