I can't watch pbs sober anymore
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
Last night, my friend changed all my contacts in my phone. I have been texted by Batman, Donatello, and Hermione Granger. I have no idea who they are, and it doesn't upset me at all.
you'd be confused too if you woke up to pictures of a ghostbuster doing body shots off you.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
