Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
