Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
You don't realize it's a small world until your ex girlfriend's dad unintentionally messages you on grindr..what.the.fuck.
while he was teaching, every time he said "wet" he would look at me, that's what you get for sleeping with the professor's assistant
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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