okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
And when I say "complete whore" I mean I could possibly make a shameful profit by wearing this.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Yeah. I'm so over work, that I'm not even satisfied pretending to work anymore. I just flat out want to go home. Fuck this job
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I party with great urgency now.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Randomize
