i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Didn't want to waste the cheese dust from the white cheddar popcorn, so I gave him a handjob, followed by the most delicious blowjob ever. Win-win.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
We were fucking in the boat on the lake when another boat saw us and honked their appreciation.
Randomize
