Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
if your phone is working sorry i called you at 2am. if it is not then i never called your phone at 2am
apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
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