Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
oh my god its dad's weekend for the sororities i can't wait to throw up in front of all these parents
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
we can add 'stealing hydrangeas from the sign in front of the credit union because we're too poor to have all of the flower arrangements professionally done' to my list of maybe-felonies
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
Only true party girls take their birth control with Smirnoff.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
