It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
I need a second opinion on who's blood is in my car.
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Randomize
