If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
I just woke up to a ten minute voicemail of you sobbing about the X-Men. Stop getting drunk and watching Marvel movies.
BUT WOLVERINE IS SO TORMENTED AND JUST WANTS TO BE LOVED
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
