The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
he puts the penis in happiness.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
and ive been naked for the greater part of the evening. alone, drunk, and naked. i think that is how all great interventions start.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
