I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I know we didn't hook up because i was still wearing my fanny pack in the morning
You know the gilmore girls would be alright if it was on mute the whole time
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Have you ever just woke up in the morning and felt pregnant
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
Randomize
