All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
hdsncx Gizmo asnqw toilet blanasdi
ok, stay where you are, be there soon
She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
oh, so if i go friday and she's there, you are going to be my sponsor for not banging the crazy chick
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Oh. My. God. I. Am. Going. To. Punch. Someone. In. The. Face. Immediately.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
