Sorry I couldn't get my dick out
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
Just remembered when I bought that round of shots I told the girls to "get their whore friend" who was making out with her bf instead of drinking. I don't know why they stayed.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
For u too. Could be years before u have a finger in ur ass
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
Randomize
