There's a fat drunk walrus bitch here next to me and shes already puked and now falling on herself
OH FUCK NOW HER BOYFRIEND IS MAKING OUT WITH HER VOMIT HOLE
Sounds like a good blink 182 concert...
So I was throwing up in this fancy toilet at a party last night, when he decided it would be funny to flush it. It was a beday. I had to walk out with toilet water and regurgitated rumpleminze all over my face and shirt.
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
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