I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
UPDATE: WE WILL BE HITTING THE BATMAN PINATA WITH A SWORD
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
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