So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
My grandmother cheats at beer pong and has been rubbing her tainted victory in my face for an hour now.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Hahaha perfect. Let's start stopping drinking tomorrow
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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