Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Randomize
