I was getting a bj with sports center on in the background
Da na na, na na naa
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
I can't believe you just became a stipulation in their divorce papers.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
I currently need breakfast in bed, morning sex, and a bourbon and diet coke. Make this happen
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
Randomize
