Don't you send me to vm
can't come. weird drunk guy passed out on couch. long story, tell u later.
wtf. wake him up, call him a cab, get over here!
i just want to make sure he doesn't die. or rob me. plus it's facinating, he's faceplant on the arm of my sofa.
i'm pretty sure the devil's penis is california-shaped
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
also since I use google voice my ads in gmail switched to DUI services after this conversation
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
You're like my little fucked up version of the groundhog seeing its shadow, only it's boobs and warm weather.
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
Randomize
