After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
We need a bunch of roses, some chocolate, 2 cops, a mariachi band, and a thermometer
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
