Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Operation liquormelon is in full effect. We may die tonight.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
The universe is cradling this hangover like a gay couple cradles their newly adopted chinese baby.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
Don't drag this out. All I need to know is if I have to put pants on or not.
Randomize
