I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
is that a dick in a sweater?
He was semi blacked out in the hallway with a bucket, calling for me while I had sex with his best friend in the very next room. Why do you let me do these things?
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Randomize
