He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
this is ridiculous... i look like a white version of MC Hammer...
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Only three months past my 21st and I'm done. So many life lessons in so little time.
Like what did he say to his host family? The girl I causally sleep with on the weekends is coming over?! And they thought "well lets feed her dinner"
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
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