just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
He put those pics of him with those girls on facebook and tagged his wife in them
Tequila 1 marriage 0
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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