The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
He came in my nose, then said it would help clear my sinuses.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
I'm trying to decide whether it's worth it to masturbate in this gas station bathroom
This is the guy I made out with and it made me think of my dad. Let's never talk about it again.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Somehow I don't think offering me edibles is what dad meant by checking in on me
They're the hard candy kind!
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
