do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
Fun fact of the day: Our cat does not like rum.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
Randomize
