i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
she's lying on the floor with a bottle of vodka, belting shakira. plz advise.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
He's a Shit stain on my heart
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
You weren't stupid you just made an ass of yourself. It's called a birthday party. That's code for night of regrets.
Randomize
