I just woke up in the 4th floor lounge at 5:30AM with my ipod on to springsteen and a condom on
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
seriously i just wanna be friends
pass
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
First off, get on bc solely in preperation for this event. Second, as my little sister you have a lot of whore to live up to.
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
Wait I can't come yet Mr. Brightside is playing
ok i defs just took my shirt off in the middle of a frat party though so keep me updated
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Gotta say, self-deprecating Lord of the Rings-themed sex jokes were not on my agenda for today.
Randomize
