last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
if you spike my cofee one more time im gona fuck you up. im presenting to the mayor in sevven fucking minuets. fuck you and youir fucking bartending classses i am so fuckign fcked
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
Randomize
