I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
For dinner, I'm having saltines, canned whipped cream, and beer. Are we sure I'm responsible enough for home ownership?
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
