before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
A hard boiled egg and a shot of tequila is not brunch.
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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