After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
You know you're deprived when the only thing you taste while chewing gum is the 2 grams of sugar alcohol.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
Rush week is fine, only the t-shirts are white and if it rains, the frat boys in their lawn chairs will be treated to 800 freshmen girls in their first wet tshirt contest.
Welcome to college.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
Randomize
