He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
the girl peeing in the stall next to mine has really cute shoes. on a scale of 1 to restraining order, how weird would it be to compliment them from in here?
It felt as i were a pad of butter melting onto a piece of toast.
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
