You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
