He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
In their defense you were hugging a watermelon for a good portion of the trip
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
Can vaginas get frostbite?
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
What's the best day of the week to potentially find out you're pregnant with your ex's baby?
He stopped mid sex to say he was sorry that he couldn't make us work.continued. Stopped again to ask if it was crazy that he loved me.
That is not what no strings attached sex is about.
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
