also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Did you really end last night's sexting with "Stay thirsty my friend"?
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
if i actually get asked out by my dealer what could happen?
i don't know, but it probably involves bathtubs full of weed
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
We had sex on his grandparents floor... the taxidermy deer was staring at me the whole time!
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
You burped in your shoe and whispered 'you're mine now'
AND ONCE AGAIN THE HENNESSEY MAKES ME A SUPER SAIYAN
Oh for fuck's sake, is that why the couch is in the pool???
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