I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize
