Kareoke will never be a sober sport
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
the guy i hooked up with is asleep on our couch. please dont fuck him.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
just curious, were the inflatable penis' received? Amazon says they were delivered.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Randomize
