North Korea, Best Korea!
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
You're sure you don't want to come? I'm pretty sure there is going to be "Pin the Tail on the Baby".
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize
