You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I'm going to get drunk, come back, call my grandma, and eat all those scrambled eggs.
Drunk is a universal language darling
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
