my phone cant type all the emotion im having
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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