So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
If you're still awake, how rude would it be if I masturbated in her new apartment on moving day? If you're asleep, then ask me how it was.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
They don't have a Valentines Day card for the married guy I'm sleeping with. It can't use the words, love, soulmate, you're the only one for me...and obviously it can't be anything related to spending the day together because that's not happening.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Is it normal for a guy to send you a dick pic along with “He misses you”
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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