i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
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