i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
listening to the two girls in the next stall finish a 40 and laugh at this guy they both fucked. they're calling him 'tulip dick'.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
I knew it was on when all she had to say about the handcuffs was 'I really hope these adjust tighter!'
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
when in doubt, mount your coworker in the staff room.
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
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