i feel like a thai whore the morning after the navy left.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
