i think the fact that he graduated high school the year i graduated elementary school is sexy.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
Dude, I just scraped frozen vomit from my rooftop
I really wish I could say this is a new low for you
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
I forgot drug dealers have families, too. Cheers to a sober, uncomfortable, slightly enraging Thanksgiving.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
I need like a billion tiny bottles of alcohol to put in the patron pinatas
Randomize
